Up at Night

Well, I am back to nursing an infant 2-4 times a night now. This also means I have to deal with that half sleeping state. Everyone with small children- you know what I mean. The state in which your body rests, but your mind does not turn off and sometimes goes on hyper mode. This, to me, would be defined as cleaning out old items you have not thought of in a while or have been meaning to do but not done. What better time to think of it than when you can't totally function as a normal person! HA HA! Says your brain and body. Its a sick joke I think. I have come to have a love hate relationship with the half sleep and the dead of night. But here are some of their redeeming qualities:
1. Its quiet. There are no other voices except for the cry of your baby. And that usually doesn't last too long.
2.You are alone. Sometimes I'd rather not be, I'd rather Dave take over. But there's something very basic about the job. Feed hungry child. And I'm not doing formula, so I am the only solution. I have a love hate relationship with that fact too, but I think deep down every woman loves it most of the time.
3. God can bring things up to you that you haven't thought of in awhile. I think he uses hyper mode in your brain. And it's here that I had an interesting experience.
I had a falling out with my roommate from my first year of college. We had a great first semester and were fast friends, but second semester I did something in response to something she did and that wrecked everything. I basically tattled on her for something, and that was the end of us. I have occasionally thought of her over the past 9 years, and wrote her a note once but never heard anything back. And then I had my newborn and was up feeding him at 4 am. There I was -half sleeping-mind on hyper mode- and this roommate issue started surfacing again. I got this idea out of nowhere: I bet she is on facebook! So I took my little guy who wasn't falling asleep, and went to the computer. There she was-and I wasted no time in writing her another apology note and sending it on its way. To my surprise I had a response the next night! We managed to mend our relationship and have been talking via email ever since. Its been fun to catch up, but to be honest its been better to have the weight of that incident off of me. Something from so long ago, still weighing on me. And I didn't realize it until it was all over.
So, the next time you find yourself up and don't know why or are getting up in the middle of the night to feed a baby, maybe you'll have a similar experience. Maybe if I started to think of those middle of the night killers as middle of the night opportunities to be alone with my thoughts- with my God, I'd have a better attitude.